New Year, New Rules

Firstly, happy new year to everyone reading this column and do stick with me in my quest for love... I feel this is going to be the year when I find it.

Did you get up to anything exciting on New Year's Eve? I spent it dressed in 1940s attire at a Blitz-themed shindig in east London.

I think the 40s would have been a great decade to live in, well aside from the fact that a world war was going in and everything from bread to nylon tights was being rationed.

On the flip slip, the music was good, the women knew how to dress and the men were always on their best behaviour.

In fact if they removed all of the sleazy drunks from the dance floor that night, I could have been back there.

But in reality it was the 21st century and, as the clock struck midnight, I was glad to wave goodbye to 2010, with a party popper in one hand and a glass of prosecco in the other.

Cheryl Cole is at least one lady who will agree with me that 2010 was a really bad year for love. Breaking up with an ex, wallowing in self pity for about a month afterwards, struggling to meet anyone else suitable, yes I've had it tough.

Last year I got it wrong but this year I'm changing tactics and, to protect myself from future heartache, I'm going to start playing by The Rules. Just as every smart woman living in the 1940s did.

It was my 83-year-old nan who introduced me to The Rules while I was home over the Christmas period and then, as if by magic, I found a copy of the book, The Rules, in my stocking as well.

Even though the book was written in the 1990s, The Rules have actually been around for years. Growing up in the 40s my nan didn't need a book, she knew them instinctively and used The Rules to wrap men around her little finger without any of the anxiety or stress women have today.

The results for her proved magical; not only did every man in her home town want to take her out for dinner, they also wanted to put a ring on her finger, too. Fortunately, she singled out the most perfect gentleman of them all, my granddad, and the rest was history.

"In my day, men would hold open doors for women and women wouldn't call men back, even if they liked them," nan told me.

"If you liked a man, you let him chase you and, trust me, if he liked you, he would."

She's right, it says so in the book and it's logical. If a man likes you, he will do almost anything to get your number and ask you out, even jump through hoops of fire. Sounds dangerous so why make them do it in the first place? Why not just give them your number straightaway and make it easy for them?

"Because men love a challenge," nan said knowingly. "Why do you think they fight wars and play competitive sports?"

As the book states, when a guy has fought hard to get you, he'll also fight hard to keep you. So, according to The Rules, instead of being an assertive modern day career woman, when it comes to relationships simply back off and let men do all of the work. Pretend that the guy you like the most doesn't exist. When he calls, you wait a day or two to call back, when he leaves it as as late as Wednesday evening to ask you out on a Saturday night date, tell him you can't make it because you've already made plans. Be mysterious and illusive and, above all, be difficult to obtain.

I'm not entirely sure if playing these kind of games will enable me to catch the man of my dreams but it will certainly help to filter the dedicated types who are in it for the long haul, from the players who'll give up at the first hurdle.

I'd rather wait to meet those kind of men then hook up with the sorts I found on the dance floor on New Year's Eve. If that means I have to remain single for a while then that's fine, as nan said: "Finding love is the fun part, it's when you've found it that the hard work begins."

So what do you men think about The Rules? Email your thoughts to singles@london.newsquest.co.uk or message me on Twitter at twitter.com/singleinsuburbs